The other evening I had a very bad evening. And, although I’d like to put the blame on someone else, I have to admit it was my pride that made it such a hard evening.
I had a run-in with someone. The issue wasn’t really about me, but about something else. But we didn’t agree. I went away feeling like they thought I couldn’t do my job properly. I wanted to run far far away where no one could find me. I felt like quitting my job right then and there. Or, at least going to bed and not getting up in the morning and to face another day. I felt like I was a failure, like I couldn’t do anything right. I felt like saying, “Fine. Just do the job yourself then! Maybe it wouldn’t be as easy as you think!!” I wanted to shrivel up and die and see if anyone cared.
Thankfully, I had a friend to talk to. It was good for me to be able to discuss the issue with someone who was not involved in the problem. But when I was discussing it with them I didn’t really get to the heart of the issue—my pride.
That evening as I prepared for bed I was still feeling quite disgruntled. I got out my Bible and just started reading. I opened to Psalm 143.
1. Hear my prayer, O LORD, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.
2. And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.
3. For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead.
4. Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.
5. I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.
6. I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.
7. Hear me speedily, O LORD: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.
8. Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.
9. Deliver me, O LORD, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.
10. Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.
11. Quicken me, O LORD, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.
12. And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.
I read this and I cried out, “Lord, this is me! Please hear my pray! Deliver me from my enemy! I can’t do this on my own strength; only through You can I overcome!”
As I spent time reading my Bible and calling on the Lord in prayer, I realized this was an attack of Satan. Things had been going pretty smoothly. I had been working to climb out of my “pit of despair” by finding things to be thankful for each day. But, here I was, down in that pit again. Realizing what was happening, I cried out to God and he heard me and lifted me up. Even though I felt weak and helpless, when I called out to Him and asked him to take my pride away, He came and fought for me. On my own I would have shriveled up and died. But, thankfully, that is not my story. Praise the Lord, Satan did not win that battle! With the Lord fighting for me I was able to have Victory!
Thanks to all of you who have been praying for me! I am blessed with so many good friends!